Poème

Depuis octobre dernier, plus encore depuis ces derniers dix jours, nous sommes nombreux·ses à penser à Etel Adnan et à chercher sens et réconfort au creux de ses mots. Je copie-colle ici le début de To Be In A Time Of War. Le poème entier est disponible là.

   To say nothing, do nothing, mark time, to bend, to straighten up, to blame oneself, to stand, to go toward the window, to change one’s mind in the process, to return to one’s chair, to stand again, to go to the bathroom, to close the door, to then open the door, to go to the kitchen, to not eat nor drink, to return to the table, to be bored, to take a few steps on the rug, to come close to the chimney, to look at it, to find it dull, to turn left until the main door, to come back to the room, to hesitate, to go on, just a bit, a trifle, to stop, to pull the right side of the curtain, then the other side, to stare at the wall. 

   To look at the watch, the clock, the alarm clock, to listen to the ticking, to think about it to look again, to go to the tap, to open the refrigerator, to close it, to open the door, to feel the cold, to close the door, to feel hungry, to wait, to wait for - dinner time, to go to the kitchen, to reopen the fridge, to take out the cheese, to open the drawer, to take out a knife, to carry the cheese and enter the dining room, to rest the plate on the table, to lay the table for one, to sit down, to cut the cheese in four servings, to take a bite, to introduce the cheese in the ; mouth, to chew and swallow, to forget to swallow, to day-dream, to chew again, to go back to the kitchen, to wipe one’s mouth, to wash one’s hands , to dry them, to put the cheese back into the refrigerator, to close that door, to let go of the day.

    To listen to the radio, to put it off, to walk a bit, to think,to give up thinking, to look for the key, to wonder, to do nothing,to regret the passing of time, to find a solution, to want to go to the beach, to tell that the sun is coming down, to hurry, to go down with the key, to open the car’s door, to sit, to pull in the door,
put in the key, turn it on, heat the engine, to listen, to make
sure nobody’s around, to pull back, to go ahead, to turn right, then left, to drive straight on, to follow the road, to take many curbs, to drive down the coast, look at the ocean, to admire it, to feel happy, to go up the hill, to reach the other side, then go straight, to stop, to make sure that the ocean has not disappeared, to feel lucky, to stop the engine, to open the door, to exit, to close the door, to look straight ahead, to appreciate the breeze, to advance into the waves.

Extrait de/Excerpt from Etel Adnan, In the Heart of the Heart of Another Country, City Lights Books, 2005.